teeth...who knew?

Did you know that if you go to 7 different dentists, and they all take x-rays of all your teeth, you can walk away with 7 entirely different plans of attack on those teeth?

The older I get, the more I realize I live in la-la land...

See, up until yesterday, I still thought that what's wrong with your teeth isn't really open to interpretation. I thought if you have a cavity, you have a cavity and your kindly dentist fills it and then that's that. Or maybe you need a root canal and your kindly dentist does the root canal and then that's that!

My dentist retired about 6 years ago...and I'm on my 7th dentist since then!!!

Dentist #1: Wore plastic flip flops, had a bright blond streak in the front of his long black hair, and when I told him one tooth was giving me some serious pain, he gave me a prescription for a mouth wash. I...uh....didn't go back.

Dentist #2: Talked and joked incessently, mostly about the videos he was willing to play in the TVs he had in each exam room. Told me I needed 3 root canals and a mouth guard. We started with one root canal. When the cap didn't fit the first time, he sent it back. When it didn't fit the second time, he sent it back, when it didn't fit the third time he got mad at me and said I wasn't closing my mouth correctly. Huh??!! When it didn't fit the fourth time I lied and said it all felt great and since I'd paid him before we even started the work (should that have been a clue?) I lost in every way.

Dentist #3: Smiled a lot and talk incessently about how much prettier my smile would be with 8 veneers. Every time I smiled, he'd shake his head and say "Oh...just let us make your smile prettier..." How creeeepy is that? In the end, he showed me on his super high tech monitor how the last dentist had missed a canal because.....LUCKY ME! I have an extra canal in that tooth! He shooed me off to his friend the endodontist. Endo-what???

Dentist #4: Yes. Entirely possible that I need my cap removed and another root canal done on that tooth, agrees the endo hot-shot. However, since I don't have dental insurance (the down-side to being self-employed ... Up-side? robes & slippers qualify as "work clothes") he suggests I find a cheaper endo-dude, as his fees are the highest in the state.

Where did I go wrong? What is happening? How can it be so hard? What dark, dental horror film have I accidentally fallen into??

Dentist #5: Gorgeous tropical fish in the Rhode Island sized aquarium in the waiting room....cool bells and whistles in the exam room....soft-spoken, pleasant mannered dentist...my third set of full x-rays in 3 years...Diagnosis: I'll need 4 root canals first. then I can come back to do the $5000 worth of work he'd also like to do in my mouth. He'd love for me to see his favorite endodontist - can't say enough about how highly he can recommend him....

sigh.

Dentist #6: oh my. We are talking one seriously nice waiting room - espresso coffee - a jungle of tropical plants - leather chairs. What am I doing here??? This lovely man said he would need to re-do the botched root canal, and would also need to do an additional 4 root canals. We're now at a grand total of 5 root canals!!!!!!!! The total cost for both this guy and the aquarium guy would be.....drum roll please......$14,000.

I went home and looked longingly at the pliers...

Then I turned 50. AARP, baby! So now, with AARP dental insurance card firmly gripped in my hand, I visited:

Dentist #7: Dr. Brossel was recommended to me by a friend I've made at dance. Dr. Brossel is my hero. He is the dentist I've dreamed of while passing up the salad coz it's too crunchy for my poor teeth (the Almond Roca, too..and that's sinful). My 5th set of xrays later, he tells me I need one root canal. One. I need a little gum work. I need a tooth re-shaped. I need 2 fillings, and I need a tooth filed down.

And if I'm feeling particularly vain and frivilous, we could do one veneer on the one "fang" I despise because it is just so very fangy.

I am more grateful than I know how to express, to have finally found a no-nonsense, honest dentist. I would clean this man's toilets for a year, I swear. Or clean out his gutters, at least....

Who knew 7 dentists could read basically the same mouth 7 different ways? Who knew?